To being presence

This May marks seven years since I moved to Australia. The migration experience has permeated every layer of my being, and it's only a year ago that I can call this incredible place, home. I'd like to share more about my story and how challenging these years have been emotionally and psychologically, but today I want to talk about the beautiful feeling, both physically and in my soul, of being present again. Of reconnecting with possibility, with faith, with the joy of being alive.

For all these years, I lived in a state of survival that prevented me from feeling grounded, present, connected to the magic of life. When I emigrated, everything I felt was familiar and safe vanished. And little by little, I began to feel increasingly fearful, insecure, fragile, hyper-vulnerable, withdrawn, and with a great deal of physical pain. When we live in a state of hyper-alertness and freeze, our vital energy diminishes and our anxiety intensifies. There's little room for creativity and plenty of room for overthinking and overdoing.

It was only the day that I realized I was affecting my beloved ones, I decided I had to do something to change my state. I didn't want to see those around me suffering because of me.

Today, looking back, I can say that my depression and anxiety were dormant, but they were there... and emigrating triggered them. I'm sharing my story because I want to tell people who feel similarly or are stuck in a vicious cycle of hopelessness and victimhood that it's possible to break free, that it's possible to feel genuine joy and happiness again. That on the other side, you emerge stronger, re-energized, and with greater certainty in your heart that you're walking your own authentic path.

Being present feels something like this...

Being in tune with your inner rhythms, in a state of active receptivity. Knowing that I can redirect and re-choose if what I'm going through doesn't feel aligned. Being at peace in solitude without feeling like I'm missing out on something external. Being with the people I truly love and who nourish me, and ceasing to be in places or groups just to belong or to avoid feeling alone. Rediscovering genuine sexual desire and connection for intimacy. Knowing in my very being that I can handle whatever life throws my way. Regaining my physical energy levels. Ceasing to complain and get irritated about everything. Practicing gratitude... deeply... every single day. Opening myself to life as a place of possibility and adventure, not as a hostile and threatening one. Reconnecting with myself through tenderness and gentleness. Taking action, detached from the outcome. LOVING LIFE AGAIN. TRUSTING LIFE AGAIN.